"Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but it's not a good business plan"

I think this topic of conversation has a been long time coming. It's something most of us small business owners have dealt with first hand, probably more than once or twice.

It's annoying AF when you log on social media and someone who has followed and commented on your photos for the past year changes their name on Instagram to @salvagesoul (mine is @salvagedsoul) and starts hash tagging #momthebuilder. But it is what it is. You vent to your friends about it and move on because first of all you have no idea who this person even is and second of all they are going NOWHERE fast. It's just the name of the game, you cannot gain the same success without doing same the work to get there.

"the saddest

thing about

betrayal is that

it never comes

from your

enemies"

Now, it's a whole new ball game of betrayal when that "friend" you once vented to goes and does the same thing, in a different way but same shit. I've contemplated for months and months about opening up on this subject but when I saw the quote at the top of this post I knew it was my time. I'm trying my hardest to not make this some immature venting sesh so please, don't judge. I know this happens to more than just me and I want you guys to know that you're not alone.

When you're my "friend" and ask me to quote a table and decide you want to make your own. I get that and I FULLY support it. I love to see my friends doing DIY projects, it makes me proud. I know first hand how hard it is. Now, when you take DIY-ing your own dining table and turn it into a business. Then start mocking my whole brand. Ummm not cool.

Or how about when I help you start a business from the ground up, like even come up with the name of your business, get you a logo, show you how to build wood frames, and put you in contact with EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON and CLIENT I know that would be interested in your work because I want so badly for my friends to feel that same feeling of self fulfillment and pride in something you created with your own two hands. But then you decide you want to grow bigger and start contacting MY clients who I introduced you to behind my back and offer them the same work I do for them from you but for FREE. Not cool b*tch. Not cool.

Oh, and then there's that friend who's an interior design, one whom you have referred to many clients and even connected her with one of yours for the opportunity to gain her business national exposure on a hit reality show. Her client requests a barn door from me, with a photo of MY DOOR, but she decides that she'd rather start building and selling barn doors from her own company. WEIRD AF. Right?

Crazy thing is I always end up the "bad guy" and it's bulshit because what did I do? Really! It's funny because the outcome of all these situations are the same. That person who I thought was my "friend" falls off the face of the earth and somehow I become the topic of their conversation with everyone around them but they can never find the time to reach out or talk to me about it. Guilty conscious much?

I can honestly say, I am not mad at these women. Did they hurt me? Yes. But I am thankful for the lessons learned. Ultimately someone I thought was a friend for years was not. Life goes on.

The moral of this post was not to rant about my experiences but to share with you guys what I have learned through them.

BE

YOUR-f*cking-SELF

Business and money take over people in a really sad way. Success from one person will bring out the worst in another. Women need to stop comparing themselves to others. Stop competing with others. Worry about YOU. I have an ongoing competition with myself. I am constantly striving to be a better person today than I was yesterday. A better mom, a better wife, a better friend, a better business owner.

At the end of the day, success breeds copycats. People see a good thing happening and they want a piece of it. It won't last for them and most likely won't be successful at all because I will tell you one thing that builds a solid foundation, originality.

"Success comes from originality not imitation"

Keep your chin upend try to not let these things get to you because chances are they are going to happen again and again. Let it motivate it. Push you to the edge and inspire bigger and better business endeavors.

I'm sure you all know or have seen her on 'The Real Housewives of Orange County' for nearly a DECADE.... but, if not allow me to introduce you to

TAMRA JUDGE

Let me just kick this off by saying what a genuine and supportive woman Tamra has been over the past year of knowing her! She is not just a client, she is a friend and someone who has given myself along with many other women in business some of the BEST advice and opportunities ever! She has gone above and beyond to work with MANY different small shops and women whom I have connected her with. Not too long ago we did a girls day and went shopping at a couple of my favorite boutiques (Swirl Boutique + Stitch & Feather), the following week she was filming at Swirl Boutique, she could have filmed anywhere but she wanted to support and do what she could through her connections to gain them a great deal of exposure. THAT my friends is one badass chick who does not HAVE to, but WANTS to go the extra mile for another womenpreneur.

What is my point of these blog posts? Why am I even doing this?

The point is to gain knowledge and relate to women at all points of their career going through the SAME shit we all are as entrepreneurs because this ain't all rainbows and butterflies. Owning your own business is one of the toughest but most rewarding jobs us women can do. But you have to have thick blood, you have to fight for that end vision and not give up when everyone else would. Tamra is one of us!

Tamra + husband Eddie started their business 'CUT Fitness' located in Rancho Santa Margarita, Ca in 2013. CUT Fitness is known to be a kick ass one-stop-shop for all your fitness goals! Yes, she had a great deal of exposure on her side from being on the RHOC for many years prior but that doesn't mean the "start your own business" road was paved for her. She has done an amazing job at building a vision. Through the struggles and through the success's.

Not only is Tamra running a business with her husband, something Jesse and I could NOT EVER DO. So major props to the both of them for their A+ in TEAMWORK. But she has also been a full time reality star on 'the RHOC' for going on 10 seasons now, she is a mom, wife, AND a hot hot GRANDMA! The juggle is real and I'm sure she can tell you about that too.

let's get personal

being a cast member of the RHOC, do you consider that a "job" in itself or a real documentation of your life?

t. "I've always thought of it as a job. I'm 10 years into filming, and if I didn't I'd go crazy. There has been stressful times where I just had to say to myself "it's just a job, don't let it get to you". Sometimes it's hard not taking things personally since its a show documenting my life. I still have to answer to a boss and I get paid...... yep, its a job."

what's your secret to finding balance between filming, family, and being a business owner?

t. "Finding balance no matter what you do is never easy. I have my moments where I just want to run away. The truth is one aspect of your life will always be unbalanced at certain times. Right now I'm filming for the next 2 months. I can't be at CUT Fitness every day or make dinner every night. I can't always get up at 5 am to workout and sometimes I need help with the kids. It's just not possible to do it all. Eddie is a big help with everything including the kids. All I can do is try my best, adjust to my schedule and get less sleep. When filming is over things ease up and it's a little easier to juggle kids, house, and CUT Fitness."

what has been the hardest struggle through the process of starting and owning your own business? & how did you get through it?

t. "Starting my own business was a real eye opener. I had never done it before and I made a lot of mistakes. They say the first year you make all the mistakes, the second year you try to fix them, and the third year you make money if you're lucky. It cost me 10 times more than I thought and you're basically strapped to the business for the first 3 years. Most new business owners think they will open a business and the money will come rolling in...... Not true!

We are on year 4 at CUT Fitness and we are constantly changing our business model to what is hot in the fitness industry. We started a "class only" studio. We have grown into a personal and small group training facility, with multiple trainers that lease space from us and multiple trainers under our CUT Fitness umbrella. We do specialty training like Spartan and offer nutrition and online programs."

if you had one "do over" as a business owner what would it be?

t. "Hmmm, do over? There are so many from our location to investing our own cash into the business. But the truth is we have learned so much through the process. I always tell people that lose their business to not give up. Now they are fully prepped to open up their next business and not make the same mistakes as last time."

if you could give an advice card to each women who is considering starting their own business what would it say?

t. My advice would be........ do something you're passionate about and give away FREE SHIT!!!! Get on social media, reach out to the public and send them your product. Write them a nice SHORT note and follow up. Don't ask them to post it, they get asked that every day. Giving someone something and expecting something in return is never a good attitude to have. If they post it GREAT, that's advertising you probably couldn't afford. Give things to your friends and family too. Word of mouth is HUGE!"

ps: don't be boring, what are your thoughts on this post?